so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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