i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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