Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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