okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
