You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
