Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bring me that man meat
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize