it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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