Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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