shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
