I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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