mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
