im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
