hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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