my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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