Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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