my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Randomize