i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
