My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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