Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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