WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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