My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
3 2 1 whiskey
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize