just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
