Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
