Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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