I just cut my nipple shaving
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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