Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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