here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
