he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
