i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
