its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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