I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
birth control should be required to get into college
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
