I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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