i need an iv and a liver transplant
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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