I will die if light touches me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
