can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
