So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
