I queefed so loud it echoed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
