does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
