Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
