His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
