if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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