So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
