talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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