Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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