YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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