i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
