Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
