can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
