Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I will be naked everywhere
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
