i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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