do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize