I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Randomize