:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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