you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
