the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize