can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
