I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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