I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
