someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
