His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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