I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
