I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
