i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
