She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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