you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
