we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
